Updated: Jun 24, 2020
Life Surfers is a mental wellness organization, with focus on teaching and training people in emotional, behavioural and associated skills to maintain a reasonably happy, productive and good quality of life. We believe, mental health is not an absence of illness, but a general sense of well-being that enables a person to be reasonably productive, happy and have a general good quality of life. Life surfers works not just on mental health, but promotion of mental hygiene. We help you develop life skills to maintain good mental health.
In today’s time and age, with technology, social obligations, need for personal space, and pressures from work, couples have somehow been drawn apart. Managing and multitasking, work with personal affairs is the need today, where most couples struggle. In this article we look into certain tricks and tips that co- habiting and married couple can use, where either of the partner is working. Couple can apply these tools and change their relationship dynamics for the better. The intent is to help you as a couple in maintaining an effective and sustained work life balance.
1. Expectations Expectations help us grow in life and become better. But, when the expectations become rigid demands from your spouse and you intend that s/he behaves the way you wish them to, problems arise. It’s important to look at how the other person is. Their personality, their value system (which may be different than yours), and most importantly the skills they possess. Not everyone is equipped to do everything. Assess what each of what you are good at and let yourself enjoy the best of each other.
2. Communication A lot has been said and written about communication between partners. And yes a lot more will be said simply because healthy and effective communication can help build foundations of a strong , respectful and loving relationship. With both having their responsibilities at home and work, its important that your love, acceptance, genuine regard and warmth is communicated through words and body language. Little gestures like, a peck on the cheek, a warm hug or a genuine smile can go a long way in helping the other relax and bring joy. Keep your communication open and focused on solutions rather than problems.
3. Schedules Nothing can work better for you than being on a schedule. How you manage your time and schedule work at office and home, between the two of you, can help reduce a lot of your stress. It helps you manage your life better in turn leaving enough room for you as a couple to have your time. Leave room for some surprises too. Helping each other with chores, and surprising with gifts, gestures and voluntarily taking on a responsibility can go a long way in building mutual respect and acceptance. 4. Win some lose some One cannot have it all. Prioritising and compromising are the key to have sustained balance. Its important to work around the need of the hour and being able to shift responsibilities effectively. Take on the responsibility or delegate work/jobs to the one who can fulfil it in the last minute depending on whats more urgent and important. It not only helps the job getting done, but builds trust between partners.
5. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES If at the end of the day you wish to come to a happy home and have a great time with each other its important that you learn to choose what you wish to fight about and fight for. Avoid and let go of things that are unimportant and spark unnecessary tension between the two.
6. Spark Marriage or partnership is constant work. There are different phases in your relationship and each phase brings certain changes. During courtship, a half hour phone call in the middle of the night could do the trick and may be now, a good relaxed meal at home or outside can help you have a good time together. Recognise and learn what works for you and give yourself the chance to build on that spark. Have the “US” time. If you have children, understand that the children came after you became a couple and they will eventually leave. You are a couple first and a parent later, no matter how big a responsibility the child may be. Take help of neighbours friends and family. Most importantly, know, that two individuals with different personalities have come together. There will always be differences, and some parts of you will rub off of each other. That’s what it’s about. Ultimately no one really wants to be in a relationship to be unhappy and struggle. However, If you are unhappy and find yourself struggling, couples counselling can help you learn skills to build a happier relationship.
Author : Snigdha is the Founder & Director of LIFE SURFERS & Secretary – Training and Supervision at Bharatiya Counselling Psychology Association. She is an experienced Psychologist and Mental wellness and Behaviour Trainer- Coach and is a certified Corporate Social Responsibility Trainer from Indian Institute of Corporate Affairs, under the Ministry of Corporate Affairs, India.